The Gentleman Deliberate Gentle Love Master (DGLMm)

Steady & mature. You are The Gentleman.

For anyone looking for an even-keeled, considerate lover, you're their man. You're sophisticated. You know what you want both in a relationship and outside of it. You have a substantial romantic side, and you're experienced enough sexually to handle yourself in that arena, too. Your future relationships will be long-lasting; you're classic "marrying material," a prize in the eyes of many.

It's possible that behind it all, you're a bit of a male slut. Your best friends know that in relationships you're fundamentally sex-driven. You're a safe, reliable guy, who does get laid. In a lot of ways, you're like a well-worn, comfortable pair of socks. Did you ever jack off into one of those? All the time.

Your exact opposite: The Last Man on Earth

Random Brutal Sex Dreamer
Your ideal mate is NOT a nut-job. He is giving and loving, like you, but also experienced. Avoid the The False Messiah at all fucking costs.


CONSIDER: The Gentleman, someone just like you.

Fooo....d that I can't possibly die eating. (yeah rite)

I've a pretty strange habit I do every morning (while brushing my teeth) -

I'll just gaze into the mirror and ask myself, "Do you think you can maximise every single hour today?".
I'll grumble and start my clockwork-gear in my heard running. And my schedule for the entire day comes out like a fax machine.

Pretty depressing. But it does wake me up effectively.

Anywayz, I was reading Men's Health for April, and I realized that I have the lowest risk of an early death because :

1) Its hard for me to get lung cancer - Because I hate smoking, and I hate the smell of smoke. The only possible way for me to get in contact with that carcinogenic compounds is maybe when I fell asleep while cooking and burnt my steak.

2) Its pretty hard for me to get colon cancer - Because I love my veggies, and I love yogurt. And, I dont have any problem in the *cough* boy's room. I guess the only possible way for me to get it is to eat some puffer fish and die of a ruptured spleen. (Which I'd die pretty happy, coz I finally got to eat puffer fish!)

3) I doubt I'd get heart attack anytime soon - I'm far from overweight, I exercise 5 times a week. I like swimming. Hmm. Actually its not that difficult for me to get heart attack. I'd just have to eat my brother's cooking for one week.
(refer to my brother's cooking a long time ago. Or just let me introduce you to the dishes he specializes in.)

Nicholas' Deep Fried Cheese Omelet
A succelently delicious combination of cheese and egg. Crumble it in your mouth as the egg dissolves, exposing a smooth liquid cheese that slides down your palate. Every mouthful squirts fragrant bursts of oil and the slightly burnt crusts complements the soft insides.

Nicholas' Fried Fried Rice
Ever thought that the fried rice in that posh chinese restaurant lacked edge? This dish will take you over it, with a combination of soft luncheon meat and egg. (Thats right my dear carnivores, no veggies!) This fried fried rice is actually fried rice that is fried! Nothing is impossible, as every grain soaks up the hot oil and crispy-fies the entire dish. The soft luncheon meat complements the crispy rice while the beaten egg adds life and color to the entire dish!

Nicholas' Trademark Burger
Made with 100% pure chicken or beef mixed with breadcrumbs, this burger is meant to make your big moma proud. The burger slices are flash fried while frozen still, making sure that the moisture on the surface is vaporized, replacing it with succelent oil, making it even more tasty and juicy then before! The surface is crispy, the mid layer is juicy.... but here comes the trademark special! The deepest core of the burger is cold! You'll sink your teeth into layers of juice just in one bite!
And if thats not all, the burger buns are fried in hot beef oil, making it fragrant and absolutely earth shaking! Slather the buns with a thick layer of Japanese Mayonnaise, add a dash of pepper and the Trademark Burger goes in between. - There you got it : Nicholas' Trademark Burger!

Nicholas' Seaweed Chicken
Seaweed chicken that begs you to eat them. Really. Considering how much they're fried. You really have to end their misery.

Nicholas' Milo-Peng
One 250ml glass of Milo contains enough energy to power a field of 100 atheletes that you found so suave in the commercial. You can't get more power then this. You won't want to try the "Dinosaur" version unless you've enough lozenges to last for 1 month.

and... you wonder how he got to that size. Wahaha.
*cough* all good chefs are fat. DON'T listen to Jamie Oliver. He doesnt eat his food.

I used to be a chef, but frankly, I'm only good at cooking noodles. Pasta sauces and stuff. Basic Italian food is so much more easy to make then Chinese food. Really - no kidding. Have you tried steaming a fish?

you'll go like
(5 mins in the steam pot) : *open cover* pokes gingerly at the fish - the fish moves. You scream, and realize that you didnt pour water into the steam bath.

(10 mins in the steam pot) : *open cover* poke fish and breaths a sigh of relieve when you realize it isnt moving, but screams again when you realize that the fish skin is stuck to the bottom of the plate. You proceed to add "Lee Kum Kee" fish sauce.

(15 mins in the steam pot) : *open cover* and covers your nose when you smell and overpowering emission of fish. (whaddaya expect. crab? - sorry bastian). You proceed to add ginger and spring onions.

(20 mins in the steam pot) : *open cover* you poke the fish and the flesh feels firm. You smile happily and take out the fish.
You sink your teeth in and scream. - You forgot to gut the fish. and you accidentally ate what the fish ate for dinner for your dinner.

(30 mins in the steam pot) : *open cover* you sigh and remove the fish. Because you realize that you forgot to scale the fish as well.

see?

Cooking chinese food is HARD.

haha. =) cheerios.

I Choose...

"It’s quiet. It’s early. My coffee is hot. The sky is still black. The world is still asleep. The day is coming. In a few moments the day will arrive. It will roar down the track with the rising of the sun. The stillness of the dawn will be exchanged for the noise of the day. The calm of solitude will be invaded by decisions to be made and deadlines to be met. For the next twelve hours I will be exposed to the day’s demands. It is now that I must make a choice. Because of Calvary, I’m free to choose. And so I choose.

I CHOOSE LOVE...No occasion justifies hatred; no injustice warrants bitterness. I choose love. Today I will love God and what God loves.

I CHOOSE JOY...I will invite my God to be the God of circumstances. I will refuse the temptation to be cynical...the tool of the lazy thinker. I will refuse to see people as anything less than human beings created by God. I will refuse to see any problem as anything less than an opportunity to see God.

I CHOOSE PEACE...I will live forgiven. I will forgive so that I may live.

I CHOOSE PATIENCE ...I will overlook the inconveniences of the world. Instead of cursing the one who takes my place, I’ll invite him to do so. Rather than complain that the wait is too long, I will thank God for a moment to pray. Instead of clenching my fist at new assignments, I will face them with joy and courage.

I CHOOSE KINDNESS...I will be kind to the poor, for they are alone. Kind to the rich, for they are afraid. And kind to the unkind, for such is how God has treated me.

I CHOOSE GOODNESS...I will go without a dollar before I take a dishonest one. I will be overlooked before I will boast. I will confess before I will accuse.

I CHOOSE FAITHFULNESS...Today I will keep my promises. My debtors will not regret their trust. My associates will not question my word. My wife will not question my love. And my children will never fear that their father will not come home.

I CHOOSE GENTLENESS...Nothing is won by force. I choose to be gentle. If I raise my voice may it be only in praise. If I clench my fist, may it be only in prayer. If I make a demand, may it be only of myself.

I CHOOSE SELF-CONTROL...I am a spiritual being. After this body is dead, my spirit will soar. I refuse to let what will not, rule the eternal. I will be drunk only by joy. I will be impassioned only by my faith. I will be influenced only by God. I will be taught only by Christ.


LOVE, JOY, PEACE, PATIENCE, KINDNESS, GOODNESS, FAITHFULLNESS,
GENTLENESS AND SELF CONTROL Gal.5:22,23


To these I commit my day. If I succeed, I will give thanks. If I fail, I will seek His grace. And then, when this day is done, I will place my head on my pillow and rest with the peace that passes all understanding."

---Max Lucado

Mind Leeches

sigh, I'm actually running out of topics to blog about... my mind is literally cramped 24/7 in front of the computer that this hideous machine is leeching the life out of me....

*suck suck* *suck suck*

*Andrew muffles a stifled scream*

Luckily there's still the gym upstairs to keep me alive...

BleArgH~ You can't do ANYTHING on a MAC except edit - edit - edit. You can't play games, you can't run 99.999% of the installers in the world...

Frankly, MAC is pretty useless, apart from editing. - and frying stuff - kindly offered by Mr. Boo... x)



It looks... nice... classy... high-techy... but its practically useless, unless you're a video editor... which... ta-da. I am... =/

I've already developed full-fledged compu-phobia, an opposite variant from my past-compu-phillia....

I'll just go home, sit in front of my computer screen and stare blankly. And I'll look out of the window for hours on end... coz frankly, I've forgotten what is life like without the computer...

Should I go down and play basketball or soccer? But my brothers are like... *cough* having their own versions of compu-phillia... I still like the gym better... stretching my limits have more thrill then stretching the limits of my fingers playing Maplestory...

(btw. Andrew is writing this in office... still. He lives a very sad life in a stifling hot cubicle, with meagre pay. wahaha.) - if any of my superiors see this, you'll see me on STOMP tomorrow... =X

School life is like heaven compared to this - ok, I swore that I would never say this, but I admit defeat (bows down to Ms Kwa). Its TRUE!

... sigh... oh well... I'm getting paid. Not much, but at least its still something to bite.


~~~~

You can never say "I love you" too many times
as long as its from the heart.
You can never say "I cherish you" too many times
as long as you're willing to hold true.
You can never say "I miss you" too many times
as long as every moment lasts for him.

Time turns, wear and tear relationships.
But love holds strong...

Because Love endures all...

To protect, to cherish, to love and to hold.... The promise that every couple makes when they close their eyes and join their hearts as one...

Its never too late,
to relight the fire
And never stop burning for me.
The flame will never die, inside me...

Take my hand... and I promise I'll never let it go....

TAGBOARD strikes back!

Haha... =)

I've really no time to reply to all the tags, so I'm going to do like what Jeremy does reply in a long LONG column

- Flora : Hey! Yeah, you're right... All is well... I guess it didnt take me so long to recover after all.. and... My hamsters.... *omg* you MIGHT be right!!! @$*$&!)* TIMOTHY!! SARAH!!!

- RJ : wahaha.. glad you liked the song... =) I like it alot too... though I dont understand half of it.... =X

- Alex didi : Wah lau.. I lost contact with you for like 3+ years liao lor.... haha, glad you still remember me.. *hugs*...

- Sinong : ... You're attached? How come I don't know?... lol... Yeahz, I've moved on..

- Rich : Hell yeah. I'm blogging! I'm blogging! nothing is going to stop me from blogging!

- XW Meimei : Heyyyy Yup, its nice to talk to you on MSN too, if I'm not too preoccupied with work... =X so sorry if I didnt reply you messages sometimes...

- King Kappa : Its NOT king. NOT KING!! until the Queendom acknowledges you!! wahaha

- Nick : EAT LAH. If you have the heart to eat your brother's beloved chocolate bar, you'll be willing to do anything. ! lol. Like let me punch you really hard.

- Cedric : eh.. sorry lah, I told you I'm stupid liao wad... Couldnt remember all the people... =/ haha.. thanks anywayz..

- Elina : Kazakhstan sucks. Really. they're proud that they filter 80% of their water?... haha... that means 20% is... *cough*.... hahahaha.. kidding. That song is NOT real.

- Lawrence : Yah. Its NOT real. Umm.. Try grabbing the real Kazakhstan president's dick, and you'll get thrown into a holy hellhole. xD

- Jeremy : Bugging people's computer is something you can learn from another person. I'm not going to teach anybody to ruin anybody's life anymore. Wahaha. AND. You LIKE SM anyway. Its not like your blog doesnt scream it out. lol

- Kat Jie : Hey.. I knew about that too.... just hope you're feeling better now... You got another love right? Hope both of you are super happy together... forever =)

- Valentino : Thanks! =) [jeez. watsup with all my brothers reading my blog. makes me feel like a gundu]

- Julius : Regards from Singapore!! Thanks so much... =)

- Timothy : GIVE ME BACK MY HAMSTER!!!! *cough* ermh.. haha.. thanks for the advise... It really works sometimes.... Give me back my self worth... haha =) Thanks so much =)

- Wolfgang : Hey Joavian didi..... yup, I'm happy now.. aint I? =D haha...




wowwee!! *phew* finally replied everybody =)
all while rendering the video too!

*glances around*

lol.. been a long time since i did.... QUIZ!!! xD

SECTION ONE - About you
+ Known as: Andrew/Axton_Z/Kyo/Xtremer87
+ Born: 02 May 1987

SECTION 2 - HAVE YOU EVER

+ Fallen off the bed?: err... yah. ow. Ever tried falling off my bed? - not funny.

+ Broken someone else's heart?: No. I dont think that person's heart is broken in anyway.

+ Had your heart broken?: Yes. Severely shattered.

+ Had a dream come true?: My dreams are not meant to come true, coz its mostly idealistic realities.

SECTION 3 - CURRENTLY...

+ Wearing: Orange shirt and torn jeans. lolz.

+ Listening to: nothing. albeit the noise in the newsroom.

+ Chatting with: ....

SECTION 4 - DO YOU...

+ Have any piercings: No. dont want to.

+ Drive: err... yah. Outrun/Daytona/Need for Speed

+ Drink: hate alcohol.

+ Have a cell phone: yup! my sony erricson! *loves*

SECTION 5 - LAST PERSON YOU...

+ Hugged: A sweet guy.
+ Talked with on the phone: That sweet guy.
+ Text: Still that ultra super duper cute guy.

SECTION 7- FAVORITES

+ Show: GRAVITATION!! (*still hardcore fan after 2 years)

+ Food : hmmm... lots! Especially the really really wierd ones... *grins*

+ Color: Blue, black, silver, white, orange.

SECTION 8 - DO YOU...

+ Like to give hugs: yup

+ Like to walk in the rain: yeah. if i dont have my bag with me...

+ Prefer black or blue: Black

+ Sleep on your side: Depends on how tired I am.

+ Have stuffed animals: ... yeah.

SECTION 9- This Or That..(pick)

+ Pierced nose or tongue: NONE!!!! wtf?

+ MTV or BET: MTV

+ 7th Heaven or Dawsons Creek: 7th heaven.

+ Chocolate or flowers: Chocolate.. =)

+ Colored or black-and-white photo: Colored!

+ Stay up late or sleep in: depends... Stay up late with friends, sleep in with the person I love.. haha

+ Hot or cold: Cold

+ Sun or moon: Sun

+ Left or Right: Right

+ Spring or Fall: Spring!

+ Happy or sad: happy.. duh?

+ Wonder or amazement: Wonder

SECTION 10: FIRSTS.

+ First piercing/tattoo: NONE.

+ First crush: err.. P5?

SECTION 11: LASTS.

+ Last time you cried: A few days ago...

+ Last phone call: 14 hours ago

SECTION 12: CURRENT.

Current mood: blank* Jacky Chung's video is still undergoing slicing and dicing.

Food: Not really hungry...

Current annoyance(s): Not much... maybe a few people who keep pestering me to answer their enigmatic questions.

SECTION 13: WHO LAST...

1. Made you smile: hmm.... a guy who's currently out in the sun doing experiments..

2. Made you cry: I guess.. its him too.... more like a combination of him and HIM.

SECTION 14: WOULD YOU RATHER...

1. Be serious or be funny?: serious

2. Drink whole or skim milk?: Whole... haha.. if there is no fats in it

3. Spend time with your parents or enemy?: my parents lah! wth. Enemy.

SECTION 15: DO YOU PREFER...

1. Do you prefer gray or black?: Black.

2. Lust or love?: Both? haha

3. Sunrise or sunset?: Sunrise..

4. M&M's or skittles?: uhh... M&M's peanut only, if not Skittles... haha

SECTION 16: ANSWER TRUTHFULLY...

1. Do you like anyone right now?: haha... umm.. yeah?.. I guess?

2. Do you believe in love at first sight?: Love... no. More of liking the person then anything else. Love is developed after disliking some parts of the person as well, but learning to accept the person eventually.

3. Do you fall for the wrong guy or girl?: ... I guess so... I'm not sure... who knows when the right person will come along....

Silence.

"If he wants to start everything again, would you return to him?..."

... this line keeps playing in my head over and over again, like a broken recorder...

It edges on my last vestiges of sanity...

I just want to find somebody who truly loves me, not treat me as some fling toy, or used object...

I've developed a phobia...
I dont want to hurt anybody anymore....
I dont want to be hurt anymore...

The night was like magic,
Your hands in mine, in a silent gesture of trust.
I held you close to my heart,
An unwillingness to let you go.
I held you tight...
I wonder, do you feel the same way too?....

promise me... you'll wait.

His Friends... My Friends.

Feel like crying... hurts a damm lot.

Hurts like hell.

A rift huh.

There's a reason why I said that once Dominic leaves me, I'll excommunicate myself completely from the AJ circle and everything that has the most remote connection to him...

... I'm a coward. I admit it...

His friends, my friends.

Who treasures who more? The question lies in how much either of us is valued.

Every word, every sentence is steeped in chillness. I can't bring myself to be MYSELF, towards him.

A wound that is plunged so deeply in does not heal in a day.


My friends... no. His friends?.

Whose friends?.

When they go out with him, I'm not included.
When they go out with me, he's not included.

I'm sick and tired of excuses.

If you want me as a friend, don't hide the truth. Just say that he's coming, and allow myself to reconsider the decision.

Its not the same anymore. Is it?

There's a massive rift between us that spans time and space.

You're right. I can't forgive him for the hurt he has inflicted on me.

Time can heal wounds, but the scars are eternal.


I don't think I'll be able to look into his eyes without vengence anyway.


There's a reason why there's a saying that couples who break up can never be friends again.


In fact, its lucky if they are not enemies.


One of the greatest mistakes I made was to neglect friends during my time with him.
I should have known better.


what I really want to do now is hit something really really hard.


I just dont understand how he can treat everything as though nothing happened.


I got 2 paths to choose now.

To love, or to hate.

I'm not an apathetic person.

If I love him, it will severely hurt me, if I hate him, I will be excommunicated from our mutual friends.

I would gladly have a thousand knives cut in me then to make this decision...

IT HURTS LIKE HELL YOU KNOW?????!!!!


no.... I guess you don't know.






but the path I choose is to continue loving you.
As much as it hurts me I'll continue to be there.

Its ridiculous every time you call me kor. But that's the closest we can be. Nothing else.

If I could turn back time, I would have rather have left it at that.


but to our mutual friends, you'll have to understand that doing this will not resolve anything. It will only make me hate him more.




what on earth is more painful then endless torment? It runs, over and over again. The blades slice into your flesh slowly and delibrately. They sink into your nerves, and you scream in agony.
Its worse then agony, its twisted pain.
They rip apart skin, and sink acid into your bones. Nails tear through muscle and hands snap joints.

but you can't die. You feel every bit of pain searing through your body, ever nerve only sends pain and more pain...

Now multiply the pain by a thousand, then multiply it by a million.

... you're now somewhat close to knowing how I feel.




it hurts...... *cries*

waaaallleett!

I need. a wallet.

arrgh. Can't stand the hole in the wallet anymore le.... I'm losing millions of dollars thru that hole!
(... ok. that was just an exaggeration. But seriously, I think I lost more then 10 bucks.)

why can't they make more innovative or durable wallets?


sianz. I miss spinning my wallet on my palm and slamming it down on the mrt gate sensors.

now, I look like a freaking clown when I do that. All the coins fly out. Hit the granny behind me, who stumbles and crashed down on a businessman who was talking on his phone, causing the phone to fly, and hit the head of an ah beng who yelled "f*** y**!" very loudly.
Coincidentally, the person on the end of the line was Kim Jong Il, who then decided to declare war on Singapore..

There is a nuclear holocaust, US intervenes, the UN is helpless, China starts throwing bombs around and Russia take out their atomic arsenal. Everybody dies, and the world is thrown into a second ice age. Cockroaches rule the world.

YOU SEE?? Somebody get me a wallet quick!!!

haha...

x)

On a dimmer note, I read Jeremy's blog. (Mr. Boo).
... He's always light hearted, hyperactive, and perpetually stuck with a silly smile on his face...

but, the way his mum treats him..... I dunno... its kinda depressing...

"this is the last time i am giving you anything,
next time, whatever you need,
whatever you want to do with your life,
whatever you want, ask your dad.

i am not talking to you
until i see my real jeremy again."
- Jeremy's Mum

What is the real jeremy? Who is the real jeremy?

Is the quest to find the "real jeremy" sufficient reason to starve him, disown him, excommunicate him?

I feel really sad for Jeremy sometimes.... It makes me appreciate my parents a whole lot more..

... I still can't bring myself to think that people, as filthy rich as Jeremy's parents will begrudge at giving $10 to their 18 year old kid - to buy a meal.

... sigh...

it hurts to know your friends around you are being hurt. And you can't do anything about it.

bleah~. And he keeps insisting on paying the chalet money. (jeez! go get something super ultra fattening for yourself please! Like a
Carl'sJuniorSuperstarburgerwithbeefchips,
extracheeseandextralargerootbeer,
withmayonnaiseatthesideandcheesedipsattheother,
andfinishofwithalargesliceofcheesecake.
please)

or. I'll buy you one.



growl. I need a w-a-l-l-e-t... somebody go out with me to buy a nice wallet!!

err.. haha... I need to go to the dentist to torture my teeth soon too...

... hmm...


(back to editing stuff)

Last Breath

To Hammie the Hamster :

02 May 2005 - 12 March 2007

Having seen through 2 hamster lives, seen his children being given away, touched and played with by so many people.

The last hamster of the family of hundreds.

Your furry paws will always be remembered.

bye bye...... beloved hammie...

Slowly, the wheel turned...
He wasn't as fast as he was six months back....

A soft squeak, he returned back to his nest of dried corn and laid there...

Pick him up slowly he says... I got a last message to tell you...

His body was limp and cold to feel, the humming heart jerked, trying to fuel it for a few more minutes...

Stroking it, you only can wonder what was wrong?

A silent squeak, no sound came out, but the eyes was enough...


The humming heart beats no more.... and you feel the body soften as it expels out its life...

Furry paws tremble for a moment, and stop.


The last hamster... you realize...

and you lay it down in its favourite sand box, seal it up and....

sigh...

What's the best love story you've ever
watched?
[x] My life. (for real - real sad.)


Do u think you're ok?
[x] No...


Song playing at the moment?
[x] Li Sheng Jie - Zui Jing


One song to describe current
relationship?
[x] Corrine May - Walk Away


Accessories you usually wear?
[x] My cross-choker, something around my wrist.


Fav color(s)?
[x] White, Black, Blue, Neon Orange, Green


Ever donated blood?
[x] no...


Last place you went to?
[x] Grand Cathay


Last person u went out with?
[x] Nicky Didi


The most exciting sport?
[x] Waterpolo! hmm... Dragon boating?...


Ever had a permanent tattoo?
[x] Lolz. NO.


Movie u want 2 watch?
[x] That very sad love show that Nicky refused to watch with me yesterday.


Any piercings?
[x] NO.


The most romantic gift?
[x] From my ex... 365 reasons why he loved me so much.... in little tiny paper cranes...
From me... a 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle... with 2 pieces laminated. And... yet to give him back...

Act on stage before?
[x] Yah...


Struck by lightning before?
[x] Lol... almost....


Danced with your loved one before?
[x] ... yeah...


Ever wished you could turn back time?
[x] YES... =/


One song that's meaningful to you?
[x] Richard Marx - Right Here Waiting


Last person you met for the first time?
[x] Last Sat I think... Davids friend, Boon Leng.


What will you be doing tomorrow?
[x] Work... err.. More work...


Ever thought of robbing a bank?
[x] *blink* huh?


One thing you totally regret doing/done?
[x] planting spider330 serieX M1114 into the computer of somebody I loved.


Do people like you?
[x] hmm... I guess so... nobody really has a topic to bitch about me about... so.. yah, I guess thats a good thing.


What was the last game you played
[x] DoTA


The color of your mobile phone?
[x] Silver


The last book you finished reading?
[x] Men's Health?... lolz


The last person who phone-called you?
[x] David.


Message to your loved one?
[x] just... give me your hand....

Pain and Penance

"Do not be afraid of pain. Embrace it, feel it, be hurt by it, and then you will not be afraid of it again..." - Morrie

quoted it from Dominic's msn nick.

Pain... we all need pain, we feel pain, we revile in pain...

We all feel pain on a daily basis, but so many of us don't know... We close our eyes to the hurt, blocking out emotions that should have been there...

We all feel the pain, but after awhile, we get so numb to it, we just feel... nothingness...

Like a murderer who kills his hundredth victim, his senses are numb beyond comprehension. We call him "cold-blooded".

Lets, just call him insensitive.

We do not know these cold blooded individuals, the pain they go through.


no. after awhile, the heart ceases to feel anything anymore...


... no... I will not let my heart grow cold... coz there ARE people out there who love me still....

I'll feel every bit of pain... from every pinstruck bite to a dagger that stabs through my heart.

Then, I'll know... I'll keep reminding myself...

This is how its like to be hurt.

This is how its like to have your heart broken.

This is how the person feels when you give the fallen statement.


I will embrace it, and I will make sure I'll be afraid of it.

Because, I want to make sure that anybody who is with me will never be afraid of it...

... because they will never need to...

under the dark night sky....

BLOG!~~! *phew*

finally I have some time to myself... its fun when everybody keeps calling you out to do stuff, hang out with them, chill out in the cafe and have fun...

but really, you just gotta have some time alone, to pen down your thoughts and sort out all the stuff you have to do, plan your week and spend some quiet time staring into blank space and thinking.... stuff...

... It has been really lonely without Dominic.... sometimes, I wonder if he feels the same way too... looking under the cold, dark, night sky...

I guess he's enjoying that freedom....

But... the vacuum inside me grows... it eats me up like an insatiable monster...

I just... I just want somebody who will really, truly love me...

I just want.... I don't know... somebody like me?...


Its wierd, when you think of it... Falling in love with your own self..
narccisistic in a way.
But I think the ideal boyfriend would be somebody who would have been able to do everything I did...

Able to hold me close, to defend me if ever needed... To silently hold my hand while looking into the night sky...
Send me mushy love messages... Surprise me with funny stuffs... Hold me close to him when I cry...

I don't know... should there even be a criteria?..

All I know is that... If I ever have somebody close again... I'll make him the happiest person alive...

because... I only ask in return what I can give...


I can't ask for the world,
but I know, I can give the world to the person I love...


for now, I just don't want to think... everything is so confusing... 3 people asking me out at one time?

and there's another one that is just so sweet...


... I guess, I'm wanted after all... but my heart is still bleeding really badly, and the vacuum isn't helping either...

I'm so scared I'll just go on the rebound....

I lost my love.... I don't want to lose my close friends too....

Kazakhstan National Anthem. x)

For your personal enjoyment. WAHAHAHA..



Kazakhstan greatest country in the world.

All other countries are run by little girls.

Kazakhstan number one exporter of potassium.

Other countries have inferior potassium.


Kazakhstan home of Tinshein swimming pool.

It’s length thirty meter and width six meter.

Filtration system a marvel to behold.

It remove 80 percent of human solid waste.

Kazakhstan, Kazakhstan you very nice place.

From plains of Tarashek to Northern fence of Jewtown.

Kazakhstan friend of all except Uzbekistan.

They very nosey people with bone in their brain.


Kazakhstan industry best in the world.

We invented toffee and trouser belt.

Kazakhstan’s prostitutes cleanest in the region.

Except of course for Turkmenistan’s


Kazakhstan, Kazakhstan you very nice place.

From plains of Tarashek to Northern fence of Jewtown.

Come grasp the mighty penis of our leader.

From junction with the testes to tip of its face!

Thank You

This post is long, long overdue... but I hope its still not too late to say -

THANKS!!

to all those who were there for me throughout this extremely tough time... frankly, you all were the ones who brought/dragged me through the emotional turmoil....

There were times when I completely wanted to give up... coz, life felt worthless without him by my side...

so. sitting on the kitchen window ledge late at night, 25 storeys above the little toy cars honking below..

... contemplating suicide ...

but NOOOOO... somebody must be messaging me ever 10 seconds, asking me to talk to them, or go out to eat with them tomorrow...

I mean, how can you even have the melancholic mood, essential for suicide when somebody messages you,"Yo! Tmr you want to go Pasta Fresca or Olio to eat?".

or, "waaaayy... kor. my computer is stuck at DOS, what to do ah?"

You feel like slapping them.

but HELL YEAH. these messages tend to snap you back to reality...



years ago, (it seems like a faded memory now), in my pre-previous chapter, I wrote,

"Love gives you wings to fly, to take you to the highest heavens and far beyond the clouds... But when you fall, its a long, long way down, with only your friends to stifle the impact on the cold hard flood... It will be your friends who will be there for you."

I'm really glad that you all are there...

Simon
Haryanto
Jasper
Jeremy
Timothy
David
Flora
Mirantz
Marcus
Kappa
Yushaa
Elina
Phoebe
Crabby
Daniel
Hui Ting
Richard
Xiao Wei
Ren Jin
Richard
Celexter
Max Kor
Alvin Kor
Nicky Didi
Alex Didi
Joanna Mei Mei
Calvin Kor
Yuan Long Didi

The ASH
The SP-AJ peepz
The agape youth
My colleagues
My beloved DMC Classmates
Mirantz and gang
Zhangde peepz
HSS Choir peepz
9C water renegades

God

I doubt I could ever list finish everybody... but I really thank God for all of you...

I promise I'll try to be there for you all if anything happens..



Finally, thank you Dominic... life was great with you. Dreams can disappear, but memories will never fade..
I will always remember the times we spent, for the best.

=)


Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you Thank you!

Everyone of you!...

*hugs*

Of Prata, Expensive Teh and *cough* Khazkhstan Greatest County in the World....

Haha.. Yesterday, after the band practice for Irene's Wedding, we went to go and makan at TASVEE (re: *to Gatsby commercial "TASVEE TASVEE TASVEE TASVEE!)

yup! As usual, we ordered our stuff, but realized that something was quite hilarious.

Imagine-
me : Uncle! We want plaster and tissue!

prataman : ello boy! This not guardian! you want plaster go 7-11 opposite buy!

me : -.-

(ok. This is Andrew's attempt at lameness, but isn't it slightly funny?)

oh, btw. Plaster refers to nomal rotiprata, with a soft, slightly fried egg on top. Something like inverted Prata Teloh. Tissue refers to prata that is extremely thin and crispy, with sweet milk or honey on top... Its usually quite huge.. xD

haha. I also realized something. Heard of this thing called Teh-cino? I think its rediculous. Its basically "tea that isn't stirred" (i.e. condensed milk at the bottom, tea floating at the top.).

Its more expensive then teh. more expensive then teh-bing (ice tea), more expensive then milo-bing (ice milo).

Tah dah! Its TEH CINO! (pronounced: tay-chee-no)

To get to the wonderful joyous experience of stirring your very own tea, and watching the condensed milk swirl around your tea, pay an additional 50 cents! No extra services!

hmm.

Rediculous isn't it.

but not as rediculous as the Khazakhstan national anthem by Borat:

*drum roll*
Khazakhstan greatest country in the world.
All other countries run by little girls.........

umm. haha.. just go uncyclopedia and check it out lah..... lol x)

EarThQuakE!

Earthquake! ^_^

so exciting! I think this is like the biggest earthquake to ever hit Singapore lah! Apparantly people are swarming out of the CBD area, school kids are having "fire drill", SGH also kenna evacuated, Talkback (Stomp thread) is being flooded, Hardwarezone.com's threads are being flooded and everybody is talking about it.

wahaha. The Newsroom is in an uproar!

(p.s. There are rumours that ultraman and godzilla are finally on a rampage)

Its kinda hilarious.

x_X

hmm... At 11:46 am, Southern Sumatra kenna earthquake. Less then five minutes can feel liaw. Talk about FAST.

*plays severely scratched version of "The Sinking of Singapore" pirated DVD spoof*

xD

Hmmm... ok. This is my first nonsensical post that I've written since The Sundering a.k.a 22 Febuary 2007.

I feel like doing quizzes... haha


bleah~ I hope he's doing ok at work. With all the chemicals around him... x_X